Deep Ends
by Ryder Jude
Summary: They say that falling in love, is like diving into a deep end. It's scary, yet thrilling. But, you never know what lies in the murky waters. A love story between Edward and Bella. A tale of love, and destruction.
1. Preface

A/N: I do not have a beta for this story at the moment, please excuse any errors.

**Disclaimer: All **_**Twilight**_** character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**All intellectual property, characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to Ryder Jude. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization. ©2010.**

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Depression: a mental illness that is characterized by sadness, despondency, a feeling of inadequacy.

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It was a dark, rainy night when I first saw him. I caught his gaze across the lobby of the movie theatre. Piercing emerald eyes burned into me. I was consumed, and the moment was suspended. It was like everything ceased to exist around me, it was only his eyes that held me. A spark lit in his jade depths.

And yet, it infuriated me.

His unwavering stare, his chiseled features, and the confident cool that radiated from him could only mean one thing. The wretchedly beautiful man was most likely a jerk. It was typical. Someone that beautiful was almost always too aware of their looks, and sadly the result had usually inflated their head. Sighing wistfully, I abruptly severed our eye contact, focusing on the old dirty carpet instead as we headed out into the misting gloominess outside.

I felt the spark fade behind me, as I moved further away from those green eyes.

But, I had no idea of what awaited me.


	2. Chapter 2 It Begins

A/N: I do not have a beta for this story at the moment, please excuse any errors.

**Disclaimer: All **_**Twilight**_** character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**All intellectual property, characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to Ryder Jude. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization. ©2010.**

I was that kid. I was that girl. The kid in school that constantly got made fun of, tormented, whatever. I was shoved into lockers, got into fights, and was basically mocked every day of my educational experience. In a way, I thrived out of it. That part is more difficult to explain, it's not that I particularly liked being picked on, but it is apart of my story. It gave me strength to be myself, long before many others my age would come to grow into. But, everyone forgets this about me, like I was simply always blessed.

I think it's also made me a little darker than some, there's anger and hurt inside me that no ones really been able to understand. I mean, sometimes people can relate. But, my whole existence has been so bizarre, yet I wouldn't change my life for anyones.

I was extremely close to my family. My odd family. I had sort of an unique upbringing, my parents were hippies. We lived on a commune for a few of my earlier years. It was a weird way of living, looking back. We had no running water, and other adults there were continuously shouting about "making love, not war". Though people still say this now-a-days this was meant literally in those days. I mostly played with friends around the commune, and we didn't know anything different. We didn't know how the outside lived. We were blissfully naïve.

My mother and I were very close, we watched old movies together all the time. Sometimes I'd stay home from school when I wasn't feeling up to facing my enemies. She was very cool, and we'd get lost in a world of black and white for hours.

My Godfather was a writer, and I adored him. I tagged along everywhere he went, poor man. I looked up to him. I even became passionate about the things we was passionate about. My parents alike were always into literature.

I was a bookworm growing up, especially because of my influences I suppose. But, I loved letting my imagination flow, creating a world all of my own. It was a little later into my years that I started trying to write. With every story I created, I found I grew. My stories became more interesting. I felt proud of my little works, and hoped to one day go to college to further my studies.

Eventually, my mom had finally taken me out of school for a little time to tutor me, she didn't agree with my constant bullying. I would rush through all my work, and be bored for half the day. Writing, and books filled my days after that point. And, I couldn't get enough reading material.

I was seventeen, and found myself back in school. High-school. High-school is like hell, I think. But, when I came back it wasn't as awful as before. The kids grew up a little, and although I still wasn't popular I wasn't always in someones locker, either.

One night my Godfather, Billy, was having a party. And, being the tag along I was, I was going to this adult party. I wondered if the party was going to be a rowdy crowd. They still held their hippie spirit.

I dressed, a little mature for my years, all in black. My parents weren't coming to this event, they had others things to do that night. And, then drove over to Billy's.

I shut the door to the cab of my red truck, and was immediately intercepted by Jake. He loomed over me with his tall frame, as he smiled down at me, blinding me with his pearly white teeth.

He pulled me into his frame for a hug, and I sighed quietly. Jake was my best friend, and my brother. He wasn't related by blood, but it was just as well. We grew up together on the commune, and now in the real world. Although, he now lived on a reservation, La Push, Washington. We only lived a few minutes away now though, as I lived in Forks.

His russet skin, and dark eyes were even darker in the dim twinkling lights that were strung around the house. And I could see a bonfire blazing in the backyard.

"I was wondering if you were going to make it down here tonight."

I smiled, "I wouldn't miss it."

"Uh-huh you're not too good to come party, but you can't come visit me a little more often? I'm hurt, Bells."

I arched an eyebrow at his words, "Well, you know what they say about us pale faces," He smiled at my ribbing, "I wouldn't want to upset any tribal leaders."

He shoved my shoulder playfully, being careful of our size differences, and said, "Naw, you're too small to be of any real threat."

He patted my head condescendingly, "Come on little doll, let's party."

"Jake," I threatened, "don't start with the pale jokes."

He crossed his hand over his heart, "I promise." He said, but I knew the albino jokes would start-up again in a matter of minutes. It's how we were.

As we crossed the threshold the music increased in my ears, and the scent of Billy's home washed over me, making me feel welcome. Our families almost lived at each others, we were never apart for long.

I was, and still am a shy girl. Parties actually terrify me, but I loved spending time with Billy, Jake, and all our friends. And, being at Billy's was like being on home ground. It gave me a little more confidence.

I followed Jake through the maze of people.

We went straight to the bonfire first where I found Billy laughing, and telling stories. He caught me around the waist, and wrapped me in a bear hug.

"Hello little one," he smiled against my forehead, and then released me asking about my parents.

I shrugged, "I don't know, they were up to something tonight."

Billy laughed, "I see."

My eyes widened at his implication, I cringed, and muttered an "ew".

"Go on, there is quite a spread." He said, nudging me toward the table filled with food, soda, beer, wine, and liquor.

I waved at a few others in passing as we moved toward the line of food. Jake appeared by my side again, and we filled our plates. We moved to the chairs in front of the fire, Billy abandoning his for me. I refused, but was quickly pushed into the seat.

I felt guilty, and loved all at once. I sat nibbling at my food, but mostly staring at my parents friends across from me. They were all sharing stories. And, I was almost salivating. A lot of our friends were writers, and hippies. It was a fun combination.

I listened to the pieces of story with zeal, hoping that one day I would be sharing some of my own.

After about three sodas, and two hours worth of filling my head with crazy dreams I needed to use the restroom. Billy has drifted inside, over the course of the last two hours. And, Jake was talking with a girl quietly next to him. I didn't want to leave my cozy warmth, nor did I want to disrupt Jake, but I eventually whispered to Jake that I would be back.

Padding my way back into the house, I discovered a line for the restroom. I was almost tempted to use Billy's, but thought better of it. I didn't want anyone following my example.

I stood quietly, leaning against the wall. I felt a little intoxicated, not that I was. It was just the high I got for having such a good time, with good friends.

The door opened, and the next person went in, leaving me next, and also last. No one had stepped in line after me yet. I stared down at the carpeted floor, and listened to the noisiness of the partygoers. The music faded for a moment, the gap between the next song, and suddenly I found as if I had been zapped.

Like a spark I once felt. Feeling confused, I turned my gaze around the room, catching a shock of disheveled auburn hair. I gasped quietly, and shook my head. I looked at the space where I had just found him, but saw nothing.

The bathroom door opened at that moment, pulling me from my reverie. Walking through the door, I pulled it close behind me, locking it. Standing in front of the mirror, I felt a little disoriented.

Blinking my eyes, I promised to forget about him, and the spark.

After I used the restroom, I went into the kitchen to gather another drink. Then, I headed back out to the backyard for some more stories. But, Billy stopped me before I could move any further.

"Bella, come here," he wavered me over with his hand, "theres someone I want you to meet." He said.

I moved around the bodies blocking my path, and finally reached Billy. His back was turned toward me, at a slight angle. He was blocking whoever he was talking to. Billy turned back toward me, and as he moved aside I found the person he had wanted me to meet.

I locked eyes with his jade ones, and felt that electricity spark between us. I shyly glanced up at him, from beneath from lashes. I suddenly felt very afraid of this jerk. He was so much more intimidating up close, and that much more beautiful.

It was painful.

Distantly I head Billy speaking, "Edward, this is my Goddaughter, Bella. Bella, this is Edward, he's a friend of mine. Edward is a very talented musician."

I swallowed, and nodded paralyzed. Edward's eyes were piercing me with their intensity, and Billy wasn't oblivious to it either. The tension radiated between the three of us.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella." His velvet voice murmured. And, I knew he was a musician at once. His voice was even beautiful. It was caressing.

"Nice to meet you, too." I mumbled embarrassed.

"Yeah, Edward here is an old friend of ours, Bella. He's Carlisle and Esme's son. And, boy you should hear him play."

"Oh," I muttered at once knowing he was quite a bit older than me. I think he was about nine, or ten years older. I knew Carlisle and Esme, they're lovely friends of my parents. But, Edward was never around. He was too old for us.

Feeling childish, I ducked my head, and mumbled an "I love Carlisle, and Esme. They're great."

Suddenly something occurred to me, "Wait, play? You don't sing?" I asked, surprised.

"No, I play guitar." He mumbled, shy. He almost seemed embarrassed, too.

Shy, him? No, he couldn't be. Especially now that I knew he was a musician. No, he was definitely a jerk. This was...an act. It had to be.

"Hey, Billy. Check this out!" Someone shouted from across the room.

Billy looked between us, and said "Excuse me, kids."

It almost like he was making it clear that our ages weren't that far apart, like he was grouping us together. Or maybe I had just wished that was what was being said.

Edward glanced down at me, and a slight crooked smile lit his features. It reached his eyes, making them dance with the light in the room.

I felt my heart flutter harder. I found it strange, too. Never once had my heart fluttered unless I was nervous, or embarrassed except around him.

I took him in.

He was wearing a black leather jacket, with a black t-shirt underneath, jeans hung low from his hips, and he was wearing black boots. His hair was in disarray, brownish red locks sweeping away from his forehead, except for a couple of errant strands. His sharp jaw was unshaved, it held a slight stubble. While his full lips, and high cheekbones made his features soft, yet angular. And, his eyes...I didn't think I could describe the full depth to them, I was drowning in his jade darkened eyes. Watching him, watch me was intoxicating. He gaze was so intense, full of longing, and held a hint of mischief.

I didn't know what to say to him. I felt overwhelmed by him.

"I didn't know you were friends with Billy." He said, breaking my trance.

I calmed myself for a moment, and then nodded.

"Yeah, we've just never met." I said, finally.

He nodded thoughtfully, and looked...regretful almost.

"How old are you, Bella?" He murmured.

"Seventeen," I whispered. I stared up at with big curious eyes.

"And, how old are you?" I asked.

He looked at me intently for a moment, and then said "I'm twenty-six."

Nine years. It didn't seem that huge to me, but I knew that others wouldn't think that way.

"I think I remember my Mom and Dad saying you liked to read a lot?" He asked.

"Yeah," I nodded, "I love reading. Do you?" I asked, with all our friends I wondered if it would be possible to not.

He nodded, "I love reading. What kinds of books do you like?"

I felt so comfortable talking with him, even with the electricity sparking everywhere, it felt...natural. Like it was meant to be, kismet.

"I love everything. But, I really like classics. The Catcher in the Rye, Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice, are a few of my favorites."

"Catcher in the Rye, is a favourite of mine, too. I love Kerouac, though. He's my favorite writer. I love On the Road." He murmured, his eyes dancing.

"Wait, do you like the beat poets?" I asked. Billy, my Godfather, was a beat poet writer. Although, both our parents were hippies, we were not. Edward was darker, edgier, like myself.

He chuckled, it was a lovely sound. "Yeah, I do. I also like Allen Ginsberg, and I love Hunter S. Thompson." Ginsberg was also a beat poet writer, and they influenced writers such as Dylan, and Thompson.

"I do, too." I smiled.

He smiled his crooked smile again, and I felt my heart stammer. How could the beautiful man be so shy? It was obvious to me now, he was standing in the corner of room. Isolated, and quiet. He seemed so grounded, and mysterious. I felt my face heat. I assumed from the piercing stare that we shared at the movie theatre that he was a jerk, but he was the opposite.

I felt ashamed I had assumed so much about him. And, guilty.

"So, Bella what kind of music do you like?" He asked, like this question held everything that mattered most. And to him, it probably did in a way.


	3. Chapter 3 Dazed

A/N: I do not have a beta for this story at the moment, please excuse any errors.

**Disclaimer: All **_**Twilight**_** character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**All intellectual property, characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to Ryder Jude. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without express written authorization. ©2010.**

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Kid, that's what he called me. Hearing the term of endearment added insult to injury. I felt like crying, I wanted to give into the child inside me. I sympathized with a deflated ballon, full of excitement, lighter than air on my high, but now it was like he had taken a pin and popped the bubble I was blissfully naïve in.

We had been discussing music, genres, and magical voices when he first called me kid. I startled a little at the nickname, and painfully realized in that moment it was just how he viewed me, a kid.

It hurt, my throat tightened up, but I kept the grin on my face, and nodded along weakly with whatever his words were.

"Bella," he asked with a furrowed brow, "are you alright?"

I tried to smile at him, but even I knew I was a poor actress. "Yeah, fine." I muttered.

"Are you sure?" He questioned, concerned.

I nodded, feeling my smile turn into a grimace. I had to leave, I had to get away from him, and those wounded eyes.

"I just...I just have to go home." I murmured my voice raspy.

I stumbled away from him, waving my farewell, feeling like a coward. But, it was self-perseverance. At least, that's what I told myself.

I caught one last glimpse of him in the corner of the room, before the crowd blocked our sight.

He looked...devastated, and I couldn't fathom why.

"Bella!" Someone shouted.

"Bella! Wait up!" It was Jake's voice, and it was getting closer. I just wanted to escape with a little humility. I didn't think it was too much to ask, to not cry in front of _everyone_. Or Jake.

Jake's fingers wrapped around my arm, slowing my movement. But, I pulled him with me, and pushed out the door.

"Hey," I mumbled, my voice quiet.

"You leaving?" He asked, with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah, I'm tired." I lied, while I inspected my shoes.

His dark eyes were appraising me, and I felt what was little left of my veneer slip. "Okkkaaayyy," He drew the word out, slowly, "what's wrong, Bells?"

His usual cheerful demeanor gone, and his softened voice broke me. "Nothing," I mumbled into the ground, refusing to meet his gaze. "I just need to get home, Jake." I pleaded. And, I truly needed just that.

"Sure, sure." He mumbled, and I started to turn away from him. But, he stopped me again by tugging on my arm. "But, I'm here, Bells. If you want to talk, or whatever." He shrugged after the words left his lips, like he incapable of doing anything else. And, maybe he was. Jake was my brother, and just as protective.

I rasped out a "thanks," and jumped into my big, faded red, rusty truck. The faint scent of gasoline, tobacco, and peppermint enveloped me. It was soothing.

I gulped in a couple of deep breaths, and refused to give in to any emotions until I was home.

I supposed I was responsible. But, I honestly just didn't want to confront those feelings until I was alone. Truly alone.

As I started up the ignition, Edward appeared out on the doorstep. His troubled jade eyes followed my every move, and as I drove away he stared longingly after me. He looked so out of place, and the expression equally as odd.

He was too beautiful, and perfect for that ordinary house. And, too extraordinary for that sad look in his eyes. I didn't know what could be the cause for his bluesy mood, but it wasn't right. Not at all, it hardly seemed fair for such beauty to suffer.

And, that was the first time I saw the sadness in his eyes that plagued him. Because, in the future I'd notice it more and more. And, come to realize that he was touched by something, too. Although, his was nowhere near as bad as mine.

XXX

I fell into bed, and curled my body inward. The warmth, familiarity, and comfort of my bed helped ease my ache. It was misery all the same though. The painful feeling in my chest wouldn't let up. Tears spilled over my eyes, and I couldn't even muster the energy to brush them away. I just laid there quietly, crying.

Sounds hurt my ears, I felt drained, and despondent. It was like I was in some kind of daze, with no hopeful light at the end.

I'd felt this way before. Many times throughout my small life. It was a haunting, devastating feeling to feel that powerless. Sometimes things sparked the emotion off, or sometimes it appeared out of nowhere, this suffocating feeling.

It was like a light faded from within, like a candle being blown out.

It's an agonizing emotion, it strips you of everything. And, if you were in your correct frame of mind, you wouldn't let something so insignificant define you. But, your not normal in those moments, and define you it does. It takes over everything, it takes away your will. That is the most awful thing of all, for something to take your will away, it's barbaric.

Because how do you fight anything, when you have no will to stop it?

You drown in it, almost luxuriate it, and let it wash over you. Because, the strength that was once inside you is now...gone.

You can only sit by, and hope that the fogginess passes quickly. Pray that you'll find strength to somehow conquer it.

Surrounded my blankets, I thought about my evening, and those jade eyes. Thinking about him, made my chest ache even harder. I wanted a covering of numbness, so sluggishly I found the remote on my bedside table, and turned on the television. Landing on some show, I hoped that it lull me into sleep.

Soon blackness was consuming, and I welcomed it. I needed the rest, the escape.

Waking up the next day, I found it was late afternoon, which was pretty typical when I fell asleep during a dark mood. It didn't really make me feel better, in some ways it made it worse.

I felt groggy, and more tired than before. My sleep was broken, too. I woke up several times during the night, but I continued to lay there after I stirred from the restless night. My bladder finally began to protest too loudly, forcing me to my feet.

After I had relieved myself, and brushed my teeth, I shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen. My energy vanished with every step. And, there was Renee dancing around, humming a rock tune, with her light brown wispy hair twirling around her. It would have made me smile, normally.

Her blue eyes caught mine, as I slumped into a stool at the bar counter. She smiled, "Hi Bella baby, you slept pretty late today." Her voice was soothing, although it seemed extremely loud to me today.

I shrugged I couldn't really find the effort to retort, even that felt like too much.

She was making lunch, sandwiches. "Hungry?" She asked. I just shook my head once to tell her no.

Her brow furrowed as she looked at me, "Honey," she started, but Charlie interrupted as us. He came in through the back door, and caught Mom by surprise. He turned her around, landing a big kiss on her lips. I was appropriately disgusted, as usual. The two of them were very loving, and very cool, very much hippies. But, I was seventeen, who wants to watch your parents fool around all the time?

Gross. Not. Me.

But, I couldn't even work up enough of a pained look to display my embarrassment with their affection.

My Dad opened the fridge, grabbed a drink, mussed my hair, said "Hey kiddo," and left a flushed Renee in his wake.

"That man," she started dreamily, staring off after him.

Shaking my head, I realized that I needed to speak up, before I had to sit there listening to their escapades.

"Stop," I figured it was enough, for now anyway.

When the sound of my rough voice hit her ears, she took notice of my appearance again. She moved around the island, and leaned across the bar toward me. She put a soft hand to my forehead, and then cupped my cheek. "Bella, you're not feeling well today." She stated.

My Mother always knew. My disheveled clothes and hair, the sad look in my eyes, and the purple shadows under my eyes were probably not helping anything either.

I didn't have to say anything, because she already knew, so I said nothing.

"Dammit," she muttered under her breath. "Is it that those kids again, because honey I'll do something about it right this second." She moved away from me, taking her warmth, and picked up the phone.

"No, Mom." I cleared my throat, and it was painful. My voice was weak, small, defeated. "Please, don't. It wasn't them." It was me.

But, it was always me. My mind was just sad. Sick, broken. And, with those thoughts my mood plummeted further.

"It's just me, Mom." I admitted, with tears swimming in my eyes, and a sad smile.

It was the truth, as bitter as it was.

Renee sighed, "Bella baby, we'll work through this, you've got such a strong spirit. You always pull yourself out. Always."

I scoffed at her words, strength I lacked. If I were strong, I wouldn't be so weak-minded.

She grabbed my chin, her blue eyes fierce, forcing her message into me. "No, Bella. Do not _do_ that to yourself. You _are_ strong, Bella. You have no idea what you possess inside you.

"You're plagued by something many others are not, most people take their contentment for granted. And yet, you draw from within," She pointed a finger toward my chest, " that inner strength you hold, to pull yourself out of it every time.

"Do you even have any idea? It's like a crashing wave, it consumes you, crushes you. Do you know how many people suffer from the same thing, and can't do that for themselves? Do you know how many people let this lead them to harm, insanity? No, I don't think you do. I don't think you get it." Her words threw me off guard, I hadn't ever thought of it like that. It was shallow of me.

Swallowing around the lump in my throat, I felt tears spill over my eyes. I nodded firmly in understanding, because she was right. I never let my moods, or thoughts drive me to those desperate acts, it didn't mean that I never thought them. I just never allowed myself to act upon them. Because, it was too easy, too selfish.

I wasn't a quitter, no matter how hard things got. It just meant it was time to buckle up.

I grabbed my Mom's hand on the counter, and found her silently crying. This wasn't just about me, this never affected just me. "Thanks, Mom." I said.

I needed to hear that.

XXX

A week later I was sitting on the couch with my Dad, watching some sports game. Well...I wasn't really watching, just more or less staring off at the t.v. Renee came through the living room, crossing in front the television throwing Charlie in a craze. But, she just rolled her eyes, and stood in front of me.

"Jake's on the phone, honey." She said, nodding her head, toward the kitchen.

"Mom, please," I croaked out, I didn't have the energy yet to talk to him, or anyone. I was working on it, though. I'd get there, soon.

Renee put her hands on her hips, and sighed.

"Bells, you do whatever you want." Charlie said, padding my leg.

I nodded, going back to staring. But, my Mom blocked my sight, not that it really mattered. "Honey, I think you should try." She said, with raised eyebrows, and an imploring look in her eyes.

"Pipe down, woman. Let the kid do whatever she wants," My Dad teased playfully, his chocolate eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled.

"Charlie!" Renee cried marching up to him, about to face off in a playful argument.

But, really I knew what I needed to do.

I stood up slowly, stretching my limbs as I did, and said, "Okay."

"Okay?" Renee questioned, with surprise in her eyes, and a smile on her face.

"Okay." She nodded smug, in Charlie's face, swinging her hips as she turned away from him.

Dad quickly slapped her behind, causing her to yelp. "Charlie!" She squealed, with a red face.

I rushed from the room then, wanting no part of that.

Picking up the receiver I prepared myself. A little conversing, I could handle this.

"Hey Jake," I whispered into the phone, wishing my voice weren't wavering.

"Bells! I haven't heard from you all week, you okay?" His jovial voice was familiar, and hard to listen to at the same time.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I mumbled, curling the cord around my finger. I didn't want to lie to Jake, but it wasn't something I liked talking about it either. It usually made things worse, bringing it up.

"Hey, so what are your plans for tonight? I haven't seen you since the party last weekend."

"Err, nothing, Jake." I was hoping he wouldn't push me too far, I loved Jake, but I didn't feel up to anything.

"Great! So, you can come with us. Leah, Sam, me, and this other girl from school are going to listen to this band tonight. At this club, so you'll come with us?" He asked, excitedly.

Cupping my throat, I felt the tension already building, "Jake, I don't think I can tonight." I said lamely.

"Why? Do you have something with Renee, or Charlie?" He asked, both our families were big spending time together, we loved it, unlike most people our age.

"No, I just..." I trailed off, wishing for a valid excuse.

"No, none of this but's, then. You're coming. Please, it's been so long since we gone out together." He pleaded.

His words were making me feel guilty. I loved Jake, he was my brother. He was like my sunshine, warming me, and brightening my outlook.

He made me better. And, he never even knew. I sighed, I really didn't feel like this was a good idea, but I felt like I could use the warmth he provided by being in his presence. Maybe his optimism would rub off on me.

"Okay, I'll go." I relented. I felt his smile through the phone.

"Yessssss! We'll pick you up at eight," he said, uttering a quick goodbye, that almost made me laugh.

XXX

When we arrived, my nerves spiked, it was crowded, heat blazed through the club, but Jake kept close by me. It comforted me knowing that he was there. He was on a date tonight, with a beautiful girl, it was actually the girl from the bonfire. I felt myself smile a little at the two of them.

It also made me think of Edward. I had been skimming over him in my mind, just grazing the surface. It wasn't Edward that put me into my blue mood, but it was painful to think about. I felt like a child. An insignificant, foolish child, I was horribly embarrassed. It was like I had imagined everything.

The feelings he invoked in me, the spark. It made me distraught thinking about it, so I didn't. I couldn't.

It wasn't like I could step back from the situation with a clear head, and evaluate it. It was better to leave it alone.

I did what I had to, I buried it inside.

"Bells, let's head to the front of the stage." Jake yelled in my ear, tugging me along behind him.

Once we stopped up front, there were people all around us. It was even worse toward the lip of the stage. Sam, and Leah pulled up behind us, offering drinks to everyone.

Even though I was the fifth wheel tonight, it wasn't awkward.

I was sipping my coke, when Jake leaned toward me, and said, "Aren't you glad you came tonight?" He asked, with his pearly white grin.

Nodding with a smirk, I thought of how Charlie would have rather been here. "My Dad's jealous, he's probably wishing he was here, too." When I informed my Dad of my plans he was all about joining us, but Renee was having none of it. He loved music, just like me.

I assume that's where my passion for music came from, from an early age I was going to rock concerts. And, music was always blasting whenever we were together.

Jake laughed, "I bet! I wish Charlie would have come tonight!" He said, he looked over at his date, Nessie, and his dark eyes twinkled.

They were talking quietly, as the band came out to set, and check their equipment.

"Hey Bells," Jake said out of the blue, bringing my focus toward him, "what happened last weekend when you left the party?" He asked.

The coke in my throat burned, as I thought about how to answer his question. But, something ignited in me right at that moment. A spark.

My chest constricted painfully, at my thoughts, as my eyes roamed over the club. And, there on stage was his bronze locks. A couple of strands flopping carelessly into his eyes, as he moved across the floor.

Jade trapped me then, locking into my chocolate gaze. And I panicked. The crushing feeling, the dejection, and the surprise written on his beautiful face saw me rushing off. Jake was reaching out for me, and distantly I heard him calling my name over and over.

I elbowed people, pushed, and shoved until I was free enough to escape the club. But, I felt that draw coming closer, pulling me. Edward was moving in on me, with purposeful strides, and a cautious look in his jade eyes.

Quickly, I scanned the room until I saw the ladies restroom, and ran to it, like a life-preserver. I actually slid into the bathroom, as Edward closed in, slamming the door, and swallowing the desperate feeling within me.

One thought raced through my mind: How do I get out of here?

XXX

A/N: I've never written an author's note, and never felt the need to before. But, I thought I should address a couple of things. This is not a story about Bella, and Jake. They are merely friends, very much like siblings. There won't be any romantic feelings between them. Also I know in my summary it's foreboding about Edward, and Bella. But, this will end with them together, and happily.


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